Du or Sie? How to address people in German

German has two words for you when speaking to one person. Du is informal and is used with family, friends, children and, increasingly, colleagues. Sie is formal and is the default with adults you do not know, in shops, at the doctor's and with any authority. If you are unsure, use Sie. It is never rude, while an unexpected du can be.

The forms

Sie in the formal sense is always written with a capital letter and uses the same verb form as sie (they). It is the same for one person and for several. Du has its own plural, ihr, for talking to a group of friends.

When to use Sie

Use Sie with adults you have just met, especially if they are older than you. Use it with shop assistants, waiters, receptionists, doctors, police officers, landlords and anyone at a public office. In these situations Sie is simply normal, not cold.

Sie goes with Herr or Frau and the surname: Guten Tag, Frau Weber. German does not normally use first names with Sie, although it happens in some workplaces.

At work, the old rule was Sie with everyone except close colleagues. This has changed a lot. Many companies, especially in tech, media and start-ups, use du from the first day, while banks, law firms, public administration and many traditional companies still prefer Sie. If you start a new job, listen to how people talk to each other for a day or two, or simply ask.

When to use du

du is used with family and friends, with children and teenagers, with other students, in sports clubs and among young people generally. It is also normal in most online forums and on social media, and many brands address customers with du in their advertising.

Children are addressed with du by adults. At what age this changes depends on the context; in many schools older pupils are addressed with Sie, while in others teachers keep using du.

Who offers du first

Moving from Sie to du is a small social step, and traditionally the older person, the person with more seniority, or the woman (in older etiquette) offers it. The usual phrases are:

Once you have agreed on du, going back to Sie would be strange. Declining the offer is possible but awkward, so most people accept.

Two in-between forms exist. Some workplaces use Sie with first names, sometimes called the "Hamburger Sie": Martin, können Sie mir helfen? The reverse, du with the surname, is rarer and is sometimes called the "Münchner Du".

du and Sie in emails and letters

The choice affects the whole message, including the greeting.

In German letters, the line after the greeting starts with a small letter, because the comma continues the same sentence: Liebe Anna, vielen Dank für deine Nachricht. With Sie, the pronoun and its forms stay capitalised throughout: Ihnen, Ihr, Ihre.

What if you get it wrong?

Learners get a lot of tolerance. Using Sie with someone who expects du just sounds a little distant, and the other person will often say Du kannst gerne du sagen. Using du with a stranger, especially an older one or an official, can come across as disrespectful, although most people will forgive a foreigner. In a few situations, such as speaking to the police, an unwanted du can even cause real trouble.

The safe strategy is the same everywhere: start with Sie and let the other person offer du.

The forms are covered in detail on the pages about personal pronouns, possessive pronouns and the imperative. To hear Sie in typical situations, try the dialogues Anmeldung im Bürgerbüro and Vorstellungsgespräch. In Die neuen Nachbarn, an adult neighbour says du to a child, and the child answers with Ihnen.

Written by: Fatih Ün, German teacher · Last updated: 9 November 2026